Mood: Sad
Msn: Appearing offline
Music: London - Everything

When I got home after school my mum had issues with her Msn so she told me to take a look and fix it. My brother turned on the computer and like it gives you an opinion to scan the system for 10 seconds every time you turn it on and he always Esc it so like I got really annoyed by it and told him off coz it's better for the computer if you do. He also taught my mum to press F1 when it totally has nothing to do with the topic fucking dumb cunt. My dad freaken budged in out of no where and told me off saying "Oh just one movement and you fuck this fuck that, you think you're so smart." and I'm like "I never said I was smart did I, if you're so good why don't you fix it yourself." and he went "Stop being so nosy." so I yelled out "You're the one being nosy, you're the one interrupting my conversations." and I slammed my door on him. Never in my life had I ever yelled at someone or used my voice so loudly before. My house was literally echoing, that's how loud I was. I went under my blanket and cried for a bit, I was holding in my tears all day today and I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I hate my dad, he never tries to understand me. I just envy my brother so much, everyone in my family treats him like royalty and I'm just nothing. Just when I thought I was over you, my heart came running back to you again. Today hearing those words from her really hurt me even though it didn't seem like anything. I feel as if I'm forcing myself to like someone else just to get over you but fact is I'm not. I tried holding my tears in in textiles but it just kept coming out, I don't know how much longer I can fake everything. I'd give anything in the world just for you to treat me like how you treat her just for 1 minute, just 1 minute of your time would do. She doesn't even cherish the time she has with you but to me, just one glance at you means the world to me. I'm just so tired of waiting, when would I ever actually get over you. I can't bare to wait any longer it's driving me more insane than ever. I feel like I've gone back to base one again and now I have to start all over again. All this time, I've gone no where. I love you so much and it really hurts me to go on like this. But even if you did know, there wouldn't be a difference, I know you'd never look at me the same. The thought of you liking her or loving her tears me apart. Knowing that you're with her and seeing that you're with her is the ultimate pain, even jumping off a 100 floor building wouldn't cause as much pain. I know that I have to let you go and I must not give up on trying because I know for sure that I can but I guess I just need more time that's all. Grghhh we had a substitute in textiles today and he was such a piss off. He pissed me off so bad so I gave him attitude. Fucking hell whats wrong with him like fucking hell little miss know it all, I hate you whoever you are. Freaken old man. Well just then I called the Sydney Hair Design College and like they said if there's not enough people it won't be running and if there's too many, you'd have to see if you're chosen so they'll send you a letter one week before the course to tell you if you're selected or not. They said the course starts at 8:30AM and freaken hell it'll take like 1 hour plus to get there so what on earth am I gonna do. I'd have to go around 6AM then, that's just crazy. Is this really all worth it? Well lets hope so.. I'm just so down right now, I'm running for emotions that I, myself can't even handle. It's like why is this all happening to me? Why do I have to be this way for? I'm going to put all my negative thoughts and work my ass off at pcyc tomorrow, I really don't understand why I'm so emotional lately. "I miss them late night talks on the phone. I miss them days when we're together out or at home. I miss how you used to whisper in my ear telling me to have no fear because you're here with me. Remember how you used to tell me you love me and meant every word, remember how you promised me forever. Now you're gone, I'd give anything in the world to hear them words one last time." Those lyrics pretty much describe how I feel right now. "And I just wanna hold you in my arms, I think of you each day now we're apart. And I just want things back the way they were, find a way back to your heart.." Such a meaningful song, the lyrics really touch my heart. All these songs remind me of you. Anyways like today far out like those fob guys grghhh, they keep pointing at me and following me for fuck sakes. I'm so scared and paranoid now. I really want them to leave me alone, I want to be on my own. I need no one else but him. No matter how hard you guys try, there's no point because I'm not going to be with someone that I don't like. Really all these lovey dovey stuff put me off dating. I want to wait for the one that could actually make me get over him, then I'd know for sure I'm ready to love again. 4568396832843. (L) I miss you.. The End. (L) :D

Mood: Relaxed
Msn: Karly Diec
Music: IYAZ - Replay


Today when I woke up around 2:20PM, I asked my mum "Mum can I go to the hair dressers and cut my hair" she was like "No it's late now and it's raining, there's going to be a lot of people there. Why didn't you tell me to wake you up earlier last night. You can go next week." LoL I could of got a hair cut today but yeah woke up late but I'm going on Tuesday and also recharging credit and going library. Gonna be a busy day on Tuesday. I can't wait to get my hair cut but I'm also afraid, I really don't know how the result would turn out. Rofl omg Karly went to the hair salon today with her mum to get her fringe fixed and omfg she got 50% real extentions. They look nice on her LoL but then she looks so hairy on webcam HAHAHAHA. Aww farrr out I want long hair so despreatly but it's gonna take so long for it to grow. Last night I found this picture of Leah Dizon and her hair is so pretty I swear.
   LoL look at my long old hair farrr out. Now my hair is just undescribable. In that photo of my old hair it's even longer at the back coz that's only my front hair, FARRR out. Old hair, I miss you. :( Rofl well gg having hair cut on Tuesday, wish myself all the best of luck. HEHEH. Anyways I'm off to do my maths homework now, laters. The End. (L) :D

Mood: Relieved
Msn: Vivian Lau
Music: IYAZ - Replay


It's actually 3:01AM at the moment but I changed the date and time so it's the 20th LoL. Okaye today my mum went to the hair salon and had a hair cut and dyed her hair. She dyed it this sort of redish black colour, it's pretty nice. Aww I really want to go to cut my hair but then yeah I need to grow it more. Well these are the following hair styles that I want because yeah I want long hair and a side fringe so badly.
They all look so pretty, I really really like them. :) At the moment I'm chucking an all nighter with some awesome cunt called Vivian Lau. :D LoL hope she can last a bit longer at least. Well right now I think I'm ready to let you go. I know I've hurt you in the past and caused you great pain, well I'm sorry.. I'm sorry for everything I've done to you, I truly am and I never deserved someone like you in the first place. I deserved the pain you caused me and I suffered enough now. It's time for me to leave this all behind. I'll think of you every now and then and of course I miss you but that's all there is to it, nothing more. Even though my heart may be with someone else right now, a little part of me would always be with you because you were my first true love. Someone that I'll never forget, just thinking about you bring tears to my eyes. Anyways good luck with your life, I can see that you're so much happier now without me but just know that I'll always be here if you ever need someone.. Anyways yes, I have finally felt like it's time, like I really don't feel the same as I used to. This special someone means a lot to me, they're probably the reason why I'm able to let go today, finally able to lift this weight off my shoulders. I feel so much better. It's a time for me to smile and not a time to cry, it's time to let it go and say my goodbye. LoL well anyways back on the topic. Me and Vivian are playing games on Msn to past the time HAHAHA and like first we played minesweepers but she full owned me and right now we're playing checkers which I'm fully pwning this game. It's 3:52AM now and yeah it's getting really cold. My fingers are freezing. Now we're playing Mc Donald's Guess Who game, LoL omg this game is so intense, Vivian might win. :( Lmao like I guessed, she won. LoL stupid Eric. Why did I have to choose to be Eric for. D: LoL well yeah that's all for today. The End. (L) :D

Mood: Emotionally disturbed
Msn: Unknown
Music: IYAZ - Replay


So lately since like about umm end of April I've been taking lots of care with my hair because my hair is extremely damaged from all the bleaching and dying, heat and hair products. So first of all I tried this Australian hair treatment that was designed for bleached hair but it was quite disappointing really coz it didn't give me a result at all. Later on in like in May I think? I saw this awesomely convincing commercial, there it was, this great shampoo that was for damaged hair. It was like a sign from buddhist telling me to buy it and yeah I actually did LoL. This was definitely the most affective shampoo I've used so far. It's L'ORÉAL Elvive Anti-Breakage shampoo oh and I also recommend KeraSys shampoo and conditioner because I love them too.
     
The purpose of the L'ORÉAL shampoo is to like prevent your hair from breakage and also repair it. It acts as a glue to your hair and fills in the gaps and sticks the pieces back together, like those really small breakages that you can only see when you look extra close. Even though a lot of my split ends isn't actually all sealed back up, I can still feel the difference. It's because my hair is so damaged, basically every piece of my hair has split ends on them. It's gone really weak and elastic and also having a lot of breakage because of weak spots. My hair is improving it's condition and I recommend this shampoo to anyone any day LoL. Well all the L'ORÉAL hair products are good, also recommend the red one which is the Color Protect. On the other hand, the KeraSys conditioner is just fabulous. I usually never use conditioner but the KeraSys conditioner got through to my damaged hair and it smoothed and softened my hair so much. Frizz has decreased and it's really holding up my hair. Anyways lets see what happened today. Well first of all I had my english viewing test and omg I just knew it, I knew I was going to lag. In Part A I lagged the test somehow and I was full panicking, I rushed it so I doubt I got good marks for that but for Part B it's pretty good actually. I got through it pretty well I guess. Omg I'm so happy, we started sewing our projects today and yeah I was so excited LoL but farrrrrr out I stuffed up the pockets. :( If I unstitch it, my fabrics going to break because it's quite thin and the threads we're on 2 meaning it was small stitches and it was stitched on really tightly. Blehh I'll fix it somehow. Well I think I'm going library on Tuesday to yeah borrow umm some books for my science project, I already got my sponges ready just that I need some resources to write for my bibliography. Wow it's actually 3:43AM now, Lmao I spent so long on this blog. Aww I really want to go with my mum to the hair salon tomorrow coz shes gonna be cutting and dying her hair. I want to go and fix mine but then I don't want them to shorten my hair but yeah I know I have to even it so I guess I'll wait a bit longer and suffer a few more months and reminisce on my beautiful long old hair. The End. (L) :D

Mood: Exhausted and angry
Msn: Karly Diec
Music: Ramzi - You Never Said Goodbye


At the moment I'm filled with anger but I'll rage it out later on. Anyways so like today we were selling more sausage sizzle because we needed to fund raise $58 more I think. So like yeah it was pretty stressing and basically it was exhausting too. Omg farrrr out like I swear whoever threw away the pre-order sheet in the bin is a fucking dumb cunt coz like without it we wouldn't know who ordered and if they recieved their sausages yet. I don't know why, I just tend to click just like that now a days. My throat hurts like no tomorrow lmao because I've been shouting and screaming so much, like jeeeeze really it's all too much. Anyways I was going fine in history and yeah it was alright I guess. After school went M block to Ms Evans to get my umm Part B booklet for my science assignment thingy. So like I was happily walking to A block to meet up with Vivian so we can finally go home but NOOOO some mother fucking asshole had to be there which pretty much ruined my wonderful stressing day. What? Can't you get enough of my words? Do you want more of my heartless words? Well yeah, I FUCKING WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. Get that through that thick head of yours idiot. Jeeeeze, I'm doing this to make it easier for you to let go? If I was freaken nice to you, you'd fucking take longer to let go but because I treat you like shit, it's better that way. Freaken common sense mate. Whatever, can't blame you. People like you just don't freaken think of things this way. Well enough with that, I need to go library soon so I can finish off my science booklet work, I really don't want to lose 5 marks. I'm so eager to do well for all my assignments and tests and yeah just really want to achieve my goals. Tomorrow is my English test and I'd definately study my ass off for this one because I really want to do well. Camera angles, film production and stuff like cinematography, sound, music, props, cast, settings and all that are pretty easy but the problem is would I be able to answer the questions in time. Lately I've been lagging a lot in tests, like my mind just goes blank all the time, even though I know the answers, I take far too long to write it all down for some reason. I take too long in thinking, I just need to somehow manage my timing for it. Fingers crossed. Wow I must say I must admit that Shaffi is a great teacher, she really got all those information stuck in my head. Even though I didn't really like her because she's so strict but yeah I know it's for my own good and I'm pretty happy that I'm improving so much in english. At the moment I'm having quite a lot of doubts because there's just way too much distractions. LoL Simpsons are on and omg I just can't seem to concentrate on my studies. Anyways, I'm going to go and watch some television. Relax my sacks. Rofl. The End. (L) :D

Mood: In denial
Msn: Unknown
Music: Jr - Don't Go


Okaye first of all I wish Doeun a Happy Birthday. Today was pretty cold, HHAHAH did weights at Pcyc for grade sport and finally I last 15 minutes on the treadmill without stopping at all. I couldn't even last 5 minutes before and now I did more than 10 minutes plus. I really don't know what I did today, I totally screwed up.. Why do you love me so much? Honestly 3/4 of my heart really don't want you to love me at all because right now I'm very afraid, I'm afraid because I feel my heart is with someone else rather than you. What am I gonna do? I'm in love with someone else but I'd be hurting you if I told you the truth. Why do things have to be so complicated for? Why on earth did I do what I did today? I know.. It just made things harder on the both of us but what am I going to do? I'd be hurting you if I told you all this. I know for sure you won't ever look at me the same after this. I guess I'd have to tell you sooner or later but maybe right now isn't the right time. I used to get so excited when you talked to me but now I just don't feel that anymore. You never really provided me with something that actually made me more happier than usual, you just provided me with a casual smile. But this person, I haven't felt like this for so long.. I love him enough to actual say I truly do love him and not you. I never actually liked you enough to actually tell you I love you and mean it but without a doubt, yes I did like you. It's been years since I've known him and you not so long. His always been there for me and I didn't realize till now that I'm actually in love with him. Every time he talks to me or texts me I get so excited and I'd use all my credit if I had to just to get through to him. I never used so much money on a friend before and I used all my savings on him. I love him so much but at the same time, I'm afraid of telling him because I know he doesn't feel that way towards me and I'm scared of telling you because you'll be hurt for sure. Putting all these feelings into consideration drives me nuts because I don't want to lose you as a friend, you're just so sweet and generous, a friend that's hard to find and I guess I see you nothing more than just a friend but reality is, how am I going to tell you this? Why do I always have to make things so complicated for, it really stresses me out and I'm already stressing out like no tomorrow over my education. It was parent teacher night today and I got my report back. I basically failed most of my subjects and got really bad comments and rankings. It's really pissing me off because I know I can do better, right now I just really want to focus on my studies and prove to all those smart asses out there that I'm better than that. I'm just really tired of everything, when you see all your hard work put into waste and have a result as such, it just really ticks you off doesn't it? I'm a failure, lets accept the reality. No ones perfect but sure thing a lot of people are close to it but I'm no where near perfect. If it was a ranking out of a hundred, I'd probably get a negative number. I'm exhausted, gonna go take a shower and then do a bit of homework then watch Master Chef and Family Outing. The End. (L) :D

Mood: Bored
Msn: Unknown
Music: Jordyn Taylor Ft. Allen Cutler - What If


Happy Birthday Vivian Lau Hong Mun. <3 Okaye so lets see what happened today? Well like umm firstly of course it's Vivian's birthday today and I'm very sure I've been saying that quite a few times today. Well yeah was very boring at school, I got home and fell asleep and omg I missed out on Master Chef again and have to wait for it to come out on the site. Blehh how gay, I keep missing out on things just because I fall asleep. Wait omg wtf I remember it was on channel ABC1 when I fell asleep but when I woke up it was on channel 10. Omg wtfffff... Jeeeze no one ever enters my room when I'm sleeping so how is that possible. Blehh anyways well at the moment I'm downloading the latest episodes of Family Outing and it seems pretty funny, only on 13% farrr so slow. Son Dambi is so cute LoL, I like her hairrrr, it's so long and pretty oh and also her eyes, they're like massive lotto balls or something. Lee Jun Ki's episode was finally out 2 days ago and haven't had a chance to watch it yet so right now I'm downloading about 4 episodes altogether. Gonna go have a shower first and when I come back I'm going to watch Master Chef and then of course Family Outing. Well that's pretty much it for today. The End. (L) :D

Mood: Scared
Msn: Joshua Vuong
Music: IYAZ - Replay


Today we had like a mini birthday party for Vivian at her house. It was yeah LoL. Right now I feel very sick and I have the shivers, just read that stupid cannibal story the others talked about from before how that guy eats up some German girl like farrrr I feel extremely sick. Wish I never read it in the first place and the pictures just totally made it worse. Well it's basically 1:21AM right now so Happy 15th Birthday Vivian Lau Hong Mun. (L) :D Hope you enjoyed your day and your presents. Oh yeah on Friday the textiles people went on an excursion to the Craft & Quilt Fair in the city and it was so much fun. I bought a teddy bear LoL. Like it was just amazing, it was a wondering experience to be there. We went around all the stands and looked at the items and stuff. It was so massive and it was so hard to find the exist AHHAHA. Okaye so after that we went to eat at Mc Donalds which was practically just outside of the exhibition centre. Like me, Karly and Georgia was sitting down eating Mc Donalds and along comes all these seal gals and they were so scary. It was so random, this ant just fell from the sky and fell into my chicken dipper box grghhh. Then after that omg stupid Karly gg like she threw fries and the sea gals were going nuts over it, they came even closer and then out of no where this random big bird comes and I started to grab my food and ran for my life. Afterwards I noticed I left my honey mustard there and it was literally surrounded my sea gals. Stupid Karly and Georgia was just laughing at me. I got so pissed off and scared I walked away but then NOOO Karly just had to throw fries at me and the sea gals all surrounded me and I was shitting myself, I screamed so loud I just wanted to cry. It was so scary and  I will never ever EVER forget this very day. Ahhh jeeeeze I need to finish off my maths homework and omg the stupid YWCA poster thingy tomorrow, HAHAHA I don't wanna go on assembly like no offence but I'll get stage fright for sure. It's just cold right now and I'm not a big fan of the cold. My whole body feels so numb because it's freezing. I just had a can of V and yeah waiting for Harper's Island to be on. Right now I can't even think of anything at all, it's like that image of that poor woman is stuck in my head now like for god sake grghh some guy actually ate her. I regret so much things I've done lately and this is definitely one of them, why didn't anyone stop me from reading this. It's terrible, it's haunting me right now. What a stupid thing to do, to read something like this at like 1 something AM. Ahhh gg LoL I really need to go toilet right now but I'm too scared to get out of my room to piss. Gosh what on earth is wrong with me it's just a story la la la la la. Okaye this was definitely a bad idea and blogging it out ain't helping me to calm down, I'm gonna piss in my pants any minute now. Omg my current favourite song I must say has to be Replay by IYAZ/Sean Kingston. Shawtys like a melody in my head that I can't keep out. Got me singing like na na na na everyday, it's like my ipods stuck on replay. Yay Harper's Island is on. Okaye I'm pretty scared right now, I'm shitting myself coz like the bride's dad just died like the light thing had a knife on it and it went right through his head. Omg I feel so sick right now how am I ever gonna sleep tonight after all this, I'm shaking even more than before. I should really stop reading and watching all these stuff. Oh yeah the other night I watched Lesbian Vampire Killers and it was so good. It's about these two guys going to this random place for a holiday break and like somehow they ended up at a place where the the girls in town are cursed. All girls when they turn 18 will become lesbian vampires and yeah the fat guy and that guy and the girl defeated them all and killed Camilla the Vampire queen. Oh god I'll blog next time, I really need to pee. The End. (L) :D

Mood: Furious
Msn: Vivian Lau
Music: Mario - Crazy Kind Of Love


Right now I am so pissed off. GRGHHH like freaken hell I swear I just want to like scrunch up your stupid paper thing and throw it in the bin, fucking bitch what cha gonna do about it. Farrr out so freaken brainless I swear. Like fucking tell me to search up some shop without even a fucking name but just the address and when I find it I fucking tell you to fucking look at it and won't even freaken take a look. I say I don't know how to get there and you fucking go "You're so useless, how come my friend can find her way?" Fuck you, that's your fucking friend not me. She knows her way around Chipping Norton or some shit and I don't okaye? Blah blah blah like seriously how am I meant to know what a place looks like if I've never been there before? Haven't you fucking ever thought of that? Farrrr what the fuck is wrong with you seriously. Afterwards you go "JEEEZE just tell your dad the address and he'll find his way, he knows the way" so like what the fuck was the point of asking me then? Fucking hell piss me off like no tomorrow. You expect everything from me and like I'm just a kid you know? You have no idea how badly I'm stressing, it drives me insane. FUCK YOU ALRIGHT, I REALLY HATE YOU TO BITS. "Neh neh neh neh neh, why cry for? Are you that miserable? When I die you wouldn't even know how to cry." Like for fuck sakes, shut the fuck up already. I'm tired of hearing your lame fucked up voice telling me what to do. It's about time you cry over me not me crying over you because you're not worth it. You never even try to understand how it is to be in my shoes, all you do is judge on what you see? Well you know what? You're just like those blind bitches out there who can't see what's on the inside of me. I'm tired of hiding everything from you because I know you'd never understand me. I want a mum that actually cares for me and be there for me not some bitch that only makes me feel crap everyday of my life. You expect so much from me but how am I gonna achieve anything at all if you keep fucking nagging me so much, I swear I am going to run away. Yeah fucking go call the cops and everything. I wouldn't give a fuck. Always think you're doing the best for me but all you're actually doing is fucking up my life, I want to live at least one day of my life without having to worry about anything or thinking of how you'd be mad at me, I'm tired of all that crap you know. Money, clothing, gadgets, they all don't buy happiness you know? I want to be happy and that can be achieved if you stop being such a bitch to me. You're giving me such a massive headache, I just want to be free for once. You ask is it really that miserable, well yes obviously it is you asshole. If it wasn't, I wouldn't be here talking to myself to let out all this anger that I've kept within me. I fucking hate you, I seriously do but yet I have to depend on you for everything. You're nothing but a messed up fuzz in my life. Today like yeah got extensions after PCYC and yeah looks pretty awesome. Saw the three of them at cabra today, I was across the road from them and they didn't even notice me.. Oh yeah and got my maths report results back and I got 62% like #$@#!#%#. I just feel so stressed out, everything is like making everything else worse. I have a really bad headache, a massive headache. I don't even feel like looking at the screen anymore, I just want to go and eat. The End. (L)

Mood: Disappointed
Msn: Unknown
Music: Jackie Boyz - Souvenir


Technically it's the 9th right now but I'll be blogging for the 8th. Well like umm on the 7th, went to Chuong's birthday outing. Went to Dai Loh or something to eat pho and yeah went ice skating at LCC. After that we went to Livo westfields, was planning to watch movies but some how the group ended up splitting up. The guys did their thing and Hui, Karly, Jimmy, Chuong and I went to Toys 'R' Us to buy birthday presents and yeah after that Christine came and Chuong went to the other group. So some how it ended up as Hui, Karly, Christine, Jimmy, My Tien and I going to Subway and yeah My Tien left and so Hui, Karly, Christine, Jimmy and I went clothing shopping for Vanessa's birthday present. Farrr when I got home around about 5:30PM my mum was like she won't allow me to go Vivian's birthday like fucking hell what a bitch. Well who cares, I'm nagging her till she lets coz I wouldn't miss out on my best friends birthday. :B Anyways like the fringe blehh, I miss my side fringe so much coz honestly the truth is bangs sucks. Bangs don't suit my facial shape what so ever. LoL I can be sitting here complaining all I want but it won't grow back till like another 3-7 months so gg, 3-7 months of suffering. :| Okaye so today is Monday and like umm slept in. Didn't do anything at all and like wooooh. I keep falling asleep so much lately like what the hell is wrong with me. When I woke up, Master Chef was on and like I missed out on half of it already so I watched the rest on the site instead. The End. (L) :D